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Are You Living in Victim Mode?

Are you angry, frustrated, feeling like life isn't fair? Are you living your life as a victim? Are you letting the circumstances control you? Take this short quiz and find out.

1. I have a hard time forgiving myself or others.

2. I don't believe that you can heal from past traumas.

3. I often feel powerless to change my life for the better and have collected a lot of evidence to support my feeling of powerlessness.

4. I have surrounded myself with people who agree with the reasons I have for not changing my life.

5. I often share my feelings of powerlessness with others.

6. I easily become resentful of others and hang on to that resentment.

7. I often fear life and its challenges.

8. When I am afraid, I honor my fear by allowing it to stop my productive actions.

9. I complain, a lot.

10. I have not taken a significant risk in years.

11. I refuse to create a plan of action for positive changes in my life and avoid people that encourage me to do so.

12. I often blame others for the unhappy circumstances in my life.

If you answered yes to more than one of the above questions, there is a good chance that you are living your life as a victim. You are allowing circumstances and past traumas, hurts, or disappointments to control you. You may be carrying tremendous baggage around, and you have probably worn yourself out.

How would it feel to let go of the resentment and anger? What would your life look like if you stepped away from the fear and hopelessness? What would it be like to reclaim you freedom from circumstances?

How do you stop living in victim mode?

You need to let go of resentment and unforgiveness that you are holding on to in your life – not just resentment and unforgiveness towards others, but also towards yourself. In Romans 4:7-8, Paul states, “Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him” (NIV). Notice, Paul doesn’t say blessed is the man whose sin the Lord sometimes or occasionally doesn’t count against him. No, Paul declares blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him. Imagine, no sin is ever counted against you. How amazing, how liberating!

In addition, you need to embrace the new creation you are becoming in Christ. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.” (2 Corinthians 5:17-19, NIV). If you are in Christ, you are a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come! What would your life look like if you woke up each day and claimed these verses? Each day, you wake up as a new creation in Christ. Each day, all your mistakes, sins, hurts, and disappointments (the old) are gone. You are free to begin each day new in Christ.

You are forgiven! You have been given a new lease on life! Your sins no longer exist! How exciting! Can you feel it in your body? Feel the shackles of pain and hurt falling away. Feel God’s love and grace pouring over you body. What an amazing gift!

As you accept God’s love and forgiveness, you will experience freedom and peace. However, this is just the start of stepping away from living your life as a victim. The next step is for you to forgive others. Let go of the pain and torment you carry inside by keeping their transgressions and sins alive. 2 Corinthians 5:17-19 says not only that Christ reconciled you to God, but also that He gave you the ministry of reconciliation. God has given you the strength, love, self-confidence, self-respect – whatever you need to be able to forgive anyone who hurts you or causes you pain. What an amazing power and gift to receive! God has created you with the power to release yourself from the pain and torment of unforgiveness. In fact, in 2 Corinthians 5:20 Paul announces, “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us…” (NIV). You are Christ’s ambassador.

In your prayer time today, claim the forgiveness God has so wonderfully offered you. List your sins, speak your shame, and thank God for his forgiveness and love. Then list the ones who have hurt you and caused you pain. List their sins and transgressions, express your pain and anger, and then allow yourself to start the process of forgiving them. Ask God to guide you. Ask God to release you from this pain and to allow you to forgive. Claim the victory of peace that is yours. Finally, thank God from releasing you from the role of victim.

Step away from living in the victim mode, contact Debbie and schedule your personal coaching session today. Contact Debbie